Personal Responsibility

First off, I was quite surprised by the results of my personal assessment. My locus of control was a 2, and it showed that I was moderately pessimistic with a low self esteem. After listening to the audio lecture and reading about my results I realized some things about myself that I either ignored or just didn't realize. I always thought of myself as being more optimistic but I realized that in reality I was more or less waiting and counting on good things to happen to me instead of choosing to make those things I desired happen. I really received a lot of important eye opening information out of that assignment. As I began to read chapter 2 in the On Course book titled, Accepting Personal Responsibility, I was in for yet another surprise. I had always heard loud and clear the negative inner critic voice and I listened to that voice, believing that I was just being honest with myself. While I was being honest, at the same time I was giving into the Inner defender and then giving up altogether. I was so hard on myself and had unrealistic expectations for myself that if I failed on one task I automatically would assume that I would fail on all the rest, I would just completely give up. After reading reading this chapter I felt really motivated and excited I saw that I had been telling myself that I couldn't and wouldn't ever be able to accomplish the things my heart desired, I was so filled with fear but at the same time willing to try. My heart and mind really resonated with the statement in the chapter that said, "The essence of personal responsibility is responding wisely to life's opportunities and challenges, rather than waiting passively for luck or other people to make the choice for us." When I read that it was like a light bulb went off and I recognized that that was what I had been doing all my life. I was waiting around for what I wanted to happen happen, instead of making the choice to do what was necessary to make my life head in the direction of my desires and goals, whatever it took. Look at challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow and realize that the old saying, " If it is to be, it is up to me." Such a simple concept and now I am ready and eager to move forward and grab the bull by the horns and make my goals a reality.